I know I’m not your first choice.

Well. Hello. Here we are. 2018.

If you know me, you would probably know how obsessed and in love I am with Christmas. I often get tears when I think of the lights, family, songs, fun and the gift of Jesus. What you probably wouldn’t know.. is I find Christmas to be one of the hardest times of year.

Why? The ‘I’m not a first choice to anybody’ feeling gets really real. REALLY REAL.



Imagine this, we are all hanging out at a massive Christmas party, 100s of people. Your S/O, friends, family, kids etc. It’s fun, Christmas carols are playing. But suddenly there’s a fire, loud sirens, smoke, someone telling you to evacuate.. who do you look for? Of course it would be those closest to your heart, your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, your kids etc. and rightly so, you definitely should!! I’m sure I wouldn’t be completely overlooked but I wouldn’t be someone’s first choice.

Now look.. I’m not trying to be a sad sod. Or all depressed. I’m an adult. I can probably get out of a fire myself, I have terrible climbing skills but could definitely jump out a window. But the thought of not being a first thought to anyone.. that’s the one that gets me in the feels. When surrounded by all the by all the lovely family carols and santa pictures at christmas, it can certainly feel like I’m being left out. Forgotten about.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say. Is during these lovely holiday times of year check in with your single, living out of home, working everyday friends. Let them know you’re there for them (not that you can take away all their lonliness- we need to be content with ourselves) but just let them know you’re thinking of them. Help them to feel a sense of belonging.

Help people feel connected.

The past few weeks I haven’t had much ‘connecting’ time with those closest to my heart. Partly because I’ve been sick, busy and working but also because lonliness has been so in my face, I take full responsibility of it. I retreat, disconnect, isolate and get comfortable in my bubble. My challenge to myself is to recognise lonliness and do the exact opposite of what I’m feeling.

To my single/feeling alone friends,

Reach out, go places, explore the world around you, message old friends, watch the sunset, spend time doing the things you love, embrace the small moments and chase your dreams. You are not alone, you are so loved!

I believe we all have a part to play in making people feel free to be themselves, connected and cherished.

That’s all for now friends.


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