I’ve had a long journey with mental health. Been through many ups and downs. I’ve had to try many different interventions, medications, professionals, meditation etc. I’m no professional but I’ve had experiences that have been very real for me.
But before you read this.. if you ever need medication I suggest you listen to the professionals that are supporting you. Because the benefits of it far outweigh the side effects. Especially if it saves your life. Plus, there are so many different types of meds and everyone responses differently.
Over the past year I have been on medications to help me cope with a depressive episode. It’s been good, it’s been extremely difficult and here’s some things I’ve had to cope with, work through and put up with..
1. The headaches, body aches and muscle spasms
Ohhh.. man.. some days I feel like I’m 80 years old. Every bone, muscle, joint aches. There’s so much pain. The headaches are like electricity going through your brain. There’s days I can’t get out of bed because every part of my body feels like knives are stabbing me.
2. Nightmares. Oh the nightmares.
Some nights I wake up having panic attacks. Not only do you have scary dreams but they feel as if they are actually happening. Vivid dreams suckkkkkk. I’ve had dreams of being chased, locked in small rooms, buried alive, tortured, bones breaking etc. I could go on.. some weeks I feel like I haven’t slept.
3. Increased sweating
EW. This one makes me so embarrassed. Some nights I wake up sweating like crazy. Or if I get the slightest bit warm I start sweating. It’s so awkward! Thank God for make-up setting spray!
4. Inability to concentrate
Ok. So. Sorry if we have had a conversation over the past year and I seemed uninterested. I find it so incredibly hard to concentrate. There’s times i can completely blank out and I’ll be a thousand miles away in my thoughts.
5. Always feeling dehydrated
If I leave the house without water I legit feel like I’m going to die of dehydration. I need so much water. Especially in the morning.
6. Thoughts and ideas that aren’t normal for you
This is kinda hard to explain but it’s almost as if there is someone else in your brain telling you to do outrageous things or think crazy thoughts. Right now my brain thinks I need to do adrenaline rush things.. like SkyDrive.. whattttttttttttt?? Sometimes the thoughts are distressing and dangerous but thankfully I have great support that helps me through those difficult days!
7. Loss of emotions
Hmmm.. so my emotions have become fairly numb. Although I laugh, smile, cry, get angry. There is this weird loss of actually being able to feel the emotion. It’s there but the feeling has been lost.
8. The hangover feel
There’s days I feel so nauseated, sick and have no energy. As if I’ve just had a big night. One of my medications has a sedating effect on my body to help me be calm and sleep, But it comes with many side effects.
9. Increased or decreased appetite
This is frustrating. Some days I could eat every 2 seconds and theres other days where the thought of food legit makes me vomit. Along with that my weight fluctuates quickly.. grr!
This is the worst part. Having to go off the medication or change to a new one has there huge consequences. Shaky hands, blurred vision, sickness, brain zaps, tummy upset, sore body, anger, sadness, crying spells.. etcccccc. Agh! So never withdraw without support and medical supervision!
With all that said.. being on medication for crisis or for a life time is so much better than battling every day with depression, anxiety or mental illness. Medication is great to help you cope and move through mental illness. Like I said before I’m not a professional. It’s just my story.
Never be ashamed of your journey. Speak out when you need to and get healthy support! You’re worth it!
If you or a loved one need to talk to someone please consider the following organisations, because you’re worth it:
lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide helpline Victoria: 1300651251
Suicide call back service- 1300659467
or visit your local GP
For the people who help, you seriously don’t have to have any answers, don’t be scared, just listen. Help your person find a place they can talk and find helpful tools to assist in their processing